A DARKNESS PALE

STUCK

…Irie was accosted by a street preacher with information about her former partner, who’d relapsed and was booted from the force…

Stuck

Irie exited the sagging Buddhist Temple that housed the rec center and shuffled through the rain to her 2019 Prius. Originally the car had been a gleaming milky white, but now, like every other car, it was shit-colored from years of Big Dip.

Climbing in made her groan. Even if she stretched after a workout the result was always the same, an attacking stiffness that collided with the achy menopausal issues brought on by being a women in her mid-fifties.

It took twenty minutes to get to the 110 north. In the tunnel by Dodger Stadium traffic slowed to a stop. An accident up ahead. Orange tunnel light, the line of red brake lights. She thought about digging her Sony Discman out of her gym bag. That would mean turning around and grabbing her bag from the backseat. She was too stiff. She was stiff and she was stuck. Empty time, and it always took her away from the here and now. Never good. She found herself thinking about Evie. Evie had been the the all time best at filling up all time. So beautiful and exciting and stimulating. She missed Evie just as much this afternoon as she had eight years ago when she’d been informed she’d had been raped and murdered up in Washington. Evie had traveled up there to eat raw geoduck, something that was supposed to help calm her bloodworm. Being Evie, she hadn’t said goodbye.

Darkness when Irie arrived home. She and Toula owned a two-story elongated brick building in a stretch industrial hell between Cypress Park and Lincoln Heights. They called it The Abbey because it had actually been something like that a hundred years ago. Toula had switched careers again and become a CPA. When she learned about the property she became convinced it was the opportunity of a lifetime, something that would vault them into a comfortable and secure retirement. Toula used all their savings for the down payment. Irie would take early retirement and her pension would cover the mortgage and the renovations that would then leave them with an apartment for themselves along with six studio apartments and a space that could be rented out or used as a community center.

Then Sangold disappeared and it came out he’d embezzled all of AES’ reserve holdings, which meant all the pensions were gone. And then a closer inspection of the property revealed what the inspector called extensive structural inefficacies. More loans weren’t an option. They were so broke there was nothing to do but to take on the work themselves. Toula took out every home improvement book from the library and created a list of tasks Hercules would have cringed at.

Irie parked in the courtyard and swung the rusty gate shut. The lock was broken. Getting a new one was somewhere on the list, Irie couldn’t remember where. She retied the chains around each other to make it look legit. She hiked up the stairs and threw herself into removing rotten floor boards with a crowbar and hammer claw. The process was extremely slow and tedious and made her already stiff back ache.

On her Discman she listened to a Love And Rockets CD from Goodwill. The mirror people. The home renovations would never end. They were going to spend the rest of their lives toiling away in this money pit, with their combined income barely covering the mortgage and basic expenses. She was careful where she stood. None of the crossbeams could be trusted. Thankfully the ceiling was solid and its unblemished state was an odd contrast to everything else. The windows were also more or less functional, covered in plastic to try to keep it that way during the renovations. Because of rotten pipes the walls were ripped apart and there was tar paper and jagged nails and a hole the shape of a broken dinner plate.

Irie paused and through the hole watched Toula install drywall in the adjoining room. Toula was covered with plaster dust and sweat, the glow of her hazer skin competing against the weak light. Post Evie, Toula proved to be the most effective time filler. When Toula told Irie she loved her with all her heart, Irie said I love you too, but only because without Toula, there would once again be all that empty time. What would she do? Probably go back to drinking.

Toula noticed Irie watching her and grinned. Even exhausted Toula was a fountain of energy. She wiped grime off her hands onto her coverall and motioned for Irie to take off her headphones. “You ready for the bath?”

Irie smiled, feeling content and vacant. “Always.”

…Irie and Toula have a frank conversation about the state of the post Big Dip world…